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New Year's Resolutions

New Year's Resolutions
Sherry Jennings

I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore. By January 3rd I would have forgotten to exercise, by January 5th I would not have written in my journal for three days, and even on January 7th I would still be eating too much chocolate. By the 15th I would have forgotten what my resolutions were.

No, I have finally learned what preordained failure looks like. Now I slide delicately into the New Year. More days are needed before I can decide what I want to ask of myself. I want to be realistic, so I request three actions of myself as I stride into the coming months — one for my body, one for my soul, one for my spirit.

Many voices spoke as I contemplated 2025. If I had listened to the cacophony, I would have collapsed in a heap, maybe not even gotten out of bed. As I move through the early days of January, some voices have faded, some I have asked to be quiet.

Now I am ready to find a cozy blanket, sit by the wood stove, and listen to my own voice. I find it is actually more possible and more fun that way. By starting with my intentions on the 5th or 6th or 10th of January, I have already removed the pressure of a perfect year.

After many years of "falling short," I have finally come up with a method that works for me. Here is my strategy for feeling good about New Year's resolutions:

  1. Clarify what and why I would like to change. Then I choose a realistic action that I can take that would support me in making this change.
  2. I make a specific request of myself including a realistic time frame, not the whole year. For example, "I will do yoga for 20 minutes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for a month," not "I will exercise more."
  3. I check to see if I have fulfilled my request; I am accountable only to myself. "Of the 12 times I intended to do yoga, I actually did it 9 times."
  4. When I tally up, I am kind and gentle with myself. I remind myself that it is not the perfection, it is the clarity of the intention and the striving that is important to me.
  5. Forward Ho!

Now you may wonder how this can help you with parenting. First of all, remember tiny steps may get you to your destination faster as you won't fall over so easily. For example, perhaps you say to yourself

  1. I would like more peace at dinner so we can share a conversation.
  2. For the next two weeks on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, I will prepare dinner right after breakfast so I will be more relaxed and not so rushed when we sit down to eat.
  3. On the second Thursday I will assess how many times I succeeded and if my strategy supported peaceful meal conversations.
  4. I managed only three times but those evenings there was peace at the table. Good try!
  5. Forward Ho! I will try it again for two more weeks.

Even though it is mid-January, it is not too late! You can make a new resolution at any moment! Enjoy the ride!

  • Young Child